Question by : What do you think of my first chapter so far?
dave05hr has signed on
kygirl15:hey… i’ve been missing u lately. where have u been?
dave05hr:hi practice is rough coach wants me 2 be perfect. not much time lately
kygirl15:wish u’d quit. no time for me or friends.
dave05hr:talk to coach wish I could see u every day but can’t too important
kygirl15:what about me? I’m important too rite?
dave05hr:yea but I need scholarship, it’s my life.
kygirl15:u don’t need a scholarship ur dad can pay just as easily
dave05hr:not really. Won’t matter anyway it’s the principle of the thing. I gotta go. bye
dave05hr has signed off
“Bye.” I whispered, logging off and closing my computer screen. David was always doing this to me. Blowing me off for baseball. That’s all he cared about lately. I pushed myself away from my desk and I unlocked my door. Locking my bedroom door was a habit I had when I did something and didn’t want to be interrupted. I turned around and turned off the stereo I had blasting.
Walking out of my room was always a surprise. I still never got used to the size of our house. Well, I called it a house, my parents and people around me called it a mansion. With all the long halls, and elegant furniture and décor, I felt out of place. Growing up in a small town had always been a delight for me, but my father made it big and landed a major role on a television show 6 years ago. Before I knew it, I soon found my family and me moving to Fairfield Haven, a gated community for the wealthy. Even though we’ve been here for a few years and I’m getting used to it, it can get so annoying. I hated all the mansions and mini-mansions. Fairfield Haven was filled with exclusive stores, expensive homes and most of all, snobby people. Most gated communities don’t have stores, but Fairfield Haven is different. It was made so nobody needs to leave the community is they don’t want to, that’s what my parents love about it. Everything is within a 20 minute drive. Surprisingly, Fairfield Haven is huge. It’s like a little town, but the owner just wanted people with wealth to be separated from the middle class people.
Being filthy rich is not my ideal life. You must think I’m crazy. I love all the things and the availability of whatever I want, but my parents are strict when it comes to spoiling me. They don’t spoil me, but only give me my necessities.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but most of their parents could be snobby and far too social. Sadly, my parents were slowly turning into those people, as well as my older sister, Jade and her husband, Ray who live with us. We had more than enough room for 5 families in this house, although we do try to make it at homey and comfortable as we possibly can. It’s a good thing my mother never really lost her comfort and motherly touch. She still cooked dinners at which we were all required to attend at dinner. I thank God for that every day, because without a touch of comfort, I would be lost.
I slammed by door shut and made my way down the hall, or my hall. Each person had their own hall. Of course my parents shared a hall as well as Jade and Ray. These halls had our own private bathrooms and a lounge designed perfectly by whoever’s hall it is.
I made my way down the elegant staircase and into the kitchen. I reached for an apple from the fruit bowl my mom always kept on the island. My phone, which was sitting in front of me, was blinking. As I checked, I found 3 messages. All of them from my best friend, Trisha. She had texted me telling me to meet her at the fountain by in the mall by 3:30. I checked the clock on the oven. It was 2:30. With just enough time, I could make it to the mall with just enough time to pick up something small to give to Jade for her birthday this week and meet Trisha in just enough time.
I grabbed my car keys from the bowl in the front hall. “Dad? Dad?” I called out as loud as I could. My mom appeared from the basement with a basket of laundry in hands. My mom hated having maids or nannies. She wanted to be a mom and housewife and that’s what she is. OF course it’s difficult to keep a house as big as this so she hires a cleaning lady to do most of the work, but she went over everything, making sure it was spick and span.
It didn’t fit it all, so this is just a preview, please be honest. Thanks 
I appreciate all the advice and I do believe that I can try to give less info. I think I’ll re-write this and put in more events that will lead to her explanation. Thanks so much! It’s so helpful!
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Q&A: What do you think of my first chapter so far?899 words, reading time ~ 3:36 minsTags: chapter, FIRST, think